My Heart at the moment <3

Ok..so i just created this after seeing my guy friends blog thing. At the moment my heart is kinda been going back & forth on what i want to do with my life when i start college. I've thought about and considered nursing, kinda following my mothers footsteps but i don't know if thats for me just yet. I love kids, my heart goes out to them. I've always wanted to work with kids in the workforce. Either as being a teacher or a nurse. Money isnt really important to me, yes i know i have to have an income to live off of. But im not interested in a job to payy me good. I'd rather spend my time where my heart is and wherever the Lord see's that he can use me the most. My main reason to be a nurse or a teacher was just to be able to touch kids hearts, and spread Gods love to them. My heart was set on being a nurse for kids who were burned or had cancer. I know that would seem like a really tough position to deal with but somebody has to reach out to those in need when all else of the world shuts out. But lately my hearts had a new toll. Everytime i mention this to my parents or any one else they are like well you need to pick something that you can get payed off of. But ever since youth camp of 2006 God placed something on my heart. And i've prayed about this oppurtunity ever since. My heart has felt a need of myself to go to places liek Switerland, Norway, Germany, Ireland, and Japan and be a missionary. I've given plenty of thought on going after or while in college and pursuing that dream. Just to go and open a school or something and teach a useful skill to the kids over their. Like English! This morning i think God reopened my heart to this dream. I have been attending Promise Land Baptist Church, and today my first day on a sunday. A young woman shared a testimony and what she was about to be entering into in the mission field. She was going over to Japan to be a young girls teacher in a boarding school type thing. She would teach them things they needed to know to be a girl, and learning English as well as learning about who God really is. And i was liek how incredible that she is going alone to a poulation that 1 out 10 people would not be going to hell. That 99.9% of the population was lost. That took a whole new outlook on what my plans for my life were and what God may be wanting me to pursue. Like the casting crowns song "i want to sign your name to the end of the day..". I want to give every ounce of who i am to the Lord. And let him use me till every ounce is used up. I want to go to a place like Japan and do what the young woman was pursuing. I know that's along ways away for me but no better time to prepare my heart and my walk then now. I do want prayer as God's plan for me is revealed. I know he is going to use me in a mighty way, in such a way i never imagined. And im starting to carry around this dream or passion in my heart. My heart reaches out to those that others reject. Every one needs to be told they are loved and more so on girls. I know as a recoverie in depression that its a cruel world in "Hollywood". Girls fight self esteem issues and covet other girls. I've come to find who I am in the Lord. And nothing can change that. I beleive he created me for a purpose and when he did he looked down and said "She is fine, she is divine and she is all mine." Just knowing that im beautiful and a mona lisa to the Lord is such a blessing and a joy to my life. Im stronger than i ever have been. I don't look at myself the way that the world tells us to look at our selfs based on "good looks" or "good figures". I look in the mirror and you know what i tell myself..? Brittany your beautiful! Your heart is so on fire for God, His light shines through you in your smile and personality. You dont have to be the most prettiest or skinniest to be beautiful. Who you are makes you beautiful and thats good enough for me. So i am hoping one day i can share this with a thousands of girls who need to hear how special they are to their creator and see it for themselves when they look in the mirror. As my favorite song goes.."Mirror i am seeing a new reflection, im looking into the eyes of the one who made me. And to Him i have beauty beyond compare.. I know he defines me...Who are you to tell me that im less than what i should be who are you?" That should be every girls heart song when they look into that mirror!
Peace && Love
~Brittany~