Ammo & Grenades

who knew a book could speak so much to me!! I've learned a lot about myself through the eyes of Katie Weldon, I'm like her in a lot of ways. One in particular is harboring feelings in my heart, not letting them truly go. Through different hurts, I gave mentally forgiven the people but I realized I haven't heartedly. Some people in my past have hurt me and scarred my heart. It's kinds like I've been saving the hurts, like a " box of hand grenades in the corner." I hang onto them just in case, " for self defense". I either hide or have that storage of ammo saved up when I get too hurt by those closet to me. I realized I have to truly give this box to God to incenerate. Because he doesn't store up a box of ammo to throw at me each time I hurt him. No, he forgave me completely gave me a new start. And he wants me to do the same to his people. God knows my heart completely to the core, he knows this harboring I've had stored up. As Psalm 139:8 says "if I ascend into heaven, you are there; if u make my bed in hell, behold, You are there." I can't hide from God, I might be able to put on a mask and fool everyone including myself but not God. He knows what I think and feel. But he loves me, and he knows I'm not perfect and yet he still works on me and loves on me. As Jeremiah 23:23 says "Am I a God near at hand, says the Lord, And not a God afar off? Can anyone hide himself on secret places, so I shall not see him?" basically we can be deceitful in our own hearts as you read on in that chapter. I want what God wants I want to be free of the scars of the remembersnce of hurt, God take it away. Help me forgive completely just as you forgives me. Set them free set me free. As you wish, amen!